Happy New Year

I look out of the window.

And I see it all.

They all look so happy.

They all seem, so full of joy.

Walking into the distance,

They slowly vanish.

I open the window.

And I sense it all.

I can sense the rush

The

Surge

Of emotions, the

Excitement, the

Anticipation.

Must be exciting,

The start of a new year.

I place my hand out of the window.

And I can feel it all.  

The cold

The wind

The sting

The pain.

I place my foot on the ledge.

I can think about it all.

This new year

I will not experience.

Maybe then,

Maybe then...

I stand on the window ledge.

I look down.

And then.

I take my step

Into the abyss

Of nothingness

Into the blankness

Into the dark

Though however empty,

Dull

Bland

It seems, it bares no comparison

To what I am used to.

I have figured it all out.

As soon as I take my other foot off the window ledge.

I can stop seeing.

I can stop sensing.

I can stop feeling.

I can stop thinking.

I can stop hurting.

___________________________________________________________

I wish you all a Happy New Year.