As The Sun Dies

I want to stay in this room forever.
Where if I close the door.
And shut the blinds.
Nothing can get in.
And I can't see anything outside.

I want to be sure.
That I can never get away.
That no matter how hard I try.
This space is where I'll stay.

Because here.
I know myself.
But no-one knows me.
And I fear if I leave
People will see.

If I were to try
To open.
There would always be the chance
That I'd forget who I am.
And that again I would have to pass
Another year by
Waiting for someone, something
To help me stand.

But inside this room.
There is no-one else.

No-one to hurt me
No-one to help me
No-one to leave me
As I am already alone.

No-one to fall for.
As all my emptiness is already known.

But
When something
Has so many times been broken
That the door
Lies useless
That there is nothing
To stop you
From running inside
And destroying everything there ever was.

You end up realizing.

There's no need for a key.
For it's impossible for broken walls to mend.
When you fall back hoping
For someone to catch you.

And when they don't
You must pretend.

That you're meant to fall free.
Into the hold unknown.
Which you have over me.
Even when I'm locked inside myself.
On my own.