The Day

When my eyes cannot see
Filled with the crystal memories
Of things which could never be
But hurt still can be seen
Within my tears

Like glass
So shallow, yet still I can
Drown myself
In the shards of what
I used to call hope.

Now, no matter how much there sun
There is in the sky
The world is grey, and painfully
I understand,
No longer can I stand alone
No longer can I call this place home
No longer can I watch and wait
For the impossible
Which is you and I.

But forever this is
What seems to be true.
Trapped in a world
Where gold is as worthless
As the thoughts I had
And as the happiness
Which surrounded you.

Through the darkened veil
Hidden, but it always can be seen
Always outside
Always I must sit
And watch as the pride
Takes over your heart
And slowly but surely
I know that all I ever wanted
Faded into
The mess

Where everything else can be found
The ones who fell into hurt
After your caress
After the last words that could never have been said
After now.

The higher you aim.
The more the will fall.
Love is a game.
Where cheating wins
Over all.

And now
It is the day
Where all I have tried
To keep so deep inside
My fears
But with even the smallest smile

I wish I could pack away my soul
And run so many thousand miles
Just to be gone.
Just to be far
From such a place.

I wish I could not say it.
But never have I felt
Like jumping into
The troubled waters.

For the coldness there
Seems to be more warm
Than what is elsewhere
For keeping myself
In glassy ice,
Is better than seeing
The other ones know
That nothing will suffice

Nothing at all.

And yet
it is only
Your glassy eyes.
Which stare back up at I.
For death is so much better
Than the absence of life.

And even then, only to defy
What I hope is the one
Who can feel most like
Who you are.

It seems the brightness is done.
Taken away all the places
That I could have seen.
But never in themselves.
Never has there been
So many places
Where I tread
Where I can still hear your voice
After so many years
It calls for me
But only ever in my head

And there is no-one
That can even begin to realize.
How it feels.
When everyday.
I can feel it. Why?
Burning through me.
And yet I can't say goodbye.

So I sit there.
And I must smile.
And I must try.
For there is nothing more painful.
Than seeing the innocent hurt.
In your unseeing eyes.